How to make a sandwich, by the Doctor Who characters
(inspired by this Lost version)
Nine -
- Gather all the stupid human ingredients and make yourself a stupid sandwich.
- Include a banana.
- Devour, alternating between angry grimaces and fanatic smiles.
- Tell the bread that it was fantastic, and the peanuts that they were fantastic and the plate the it was fantastic, and you know what, taste buds? You were fantastic, too!
Rose -
- For the first nineteen years of your life, don’t eat any sandwiches. Not ever.
- Then, run away while biting the first one made with plenty of ingredients from the North.
- Wait until it gets nice and thin, and declare your love for said sandwich.
- Lose it, and take comfort in pie. This is the story of how you pied.
- Tear a hole through the fabric of a paper bag to finish eating the sandwich.
- Once completely ingested, insist that you love it again…and put your mouth all over a sandwich made with the exact same ingredients, one that loves you back too and knows that it does need peanut butter-ing.
- Also, stuff in some chips. Lots and lots of chips inside all sandwiches.
- But remember, it’s a sandwich. You cannot get high off of it.
